A picture from our drive on Sunday....taking a break to stretch the legs!

It has been a challenging week both emotionally and physically. Adi became sick at the end of last week and had fluids coming out both ends! She is not the easiest when she is not feeling well, instead of getting sweet and snuggly...she typically gets cranky and whiny! While Adi is feeling better now, I am stuck with the flu. I started to feel sick on Monday night but knew I needed to be strong for MOPS yesterday mornning. It was literally minutes after our meeting that the achiness and yuckiness fully kicked in. On top of not feeling well, I am in desperate need of more sleep. Please pray that I feel better soon, I have a lot of committments this week that I cannot break.

On the emotional side....I struggled this weekend with acceptance. I continually felt like I was not being a good mom, wife, friend and leader. I struggled accepting myself I guess. So often when this happens, I take my issues out on Luke as if to punish him for my shortcomings and sin. I blame him for not loving me the way I want him to at the moment, blame him for my mothering skills (or lack thereof), blame him for how sucky life sometime feels, blame him for things he has nothing to do with...and absolutely no control of.
This is one reason that I need a savior. I need help controlling my anger and feelings. I need help in the daily living that makes or breaks my witness as a follower of Christ. I need help loving my husband (although he is about the easiest thing in the world to love!!!) the way he deserves to be loved. I need to be redeemed and forgiven each day...Thank you, Jesus!

An additional reason to be emotional....(in a good way though)...
I watched the video of Olivianna's birth for the first time on Monday. Pastor Rick Countryman asked Luke and I to give our testimony at all three services this week of how we have experienced Jehovah Shalom (The Lord is peace) in our lives. I thought that it would be a good idea to go back and remember the day. (Not that I have forgotten any of it at all, but I wanted to see her movement again, hear the words I whispered to her, experience the peace that Christ truly brought to us that day.) She was so beautiful and angelic.
Tears fell the rest of the afternoon as I hugged Adi a little tighter, wishing that I could hug my Olivianna too.


One year ago this week we jumped on our bed and cried over new life growing inside of me.
Three months ago today we sat in that hopital room and cried over her death.

So much healing has been going on in my heart and I praise the Lord for it.

Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again REJOICE! (Phil 4:4)
Whether in life or death, I am called to Rejoice....and that is what I choose to do!

Adi and I rejoicing!!!

This is the sweetness that happens when you let a 23 month old dress herself!

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassion never fails. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23