Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Be truly glad

Be truly glad! There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for a while. These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold-and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold. 1 Peter 1:6-7

It is in the midst of suffering, when we choose to trust instead of fear, that we reveal genuince faith. To accept rather than complain. To forgive rather than seek revenge. To choose humility insteadof proving we were right. The curtain is pulled back and we have the opportunity for our faith to be proved genuine. (Nancy Guthrie: one year book of Hope)

Help me Lord to trust in you during this time of testing.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

This will turn out for my deliverance

This week has been a very difficult week. Some elders and pastors came over on Wed evening, along with our parents and siblings, to pray over our family and home. Rick Thompson anointed Luke and I with oil... (ultimately anointing Olivianna) through us. This was a very emotional and sweet time for us. Once again, the Lord spoke Isaiah 41:10 to us. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. It has been amazing that the Lord has spoken that verse to us over and over. This verse has been an encouragement to us regarding Olivianna and our house shooting. DO NOT FEAR he commands of us. Thank you Jesus!
On Thursday afternoon Luke and I (as well as both grandmas and Jill) were privileged to experience Womb with a View. We received a gift certificate for Easter from aunt/uncle Chripczuk and mom/dad Moore for a complete package (which includes 20 minute video, CD, and lots of pics). We didn't voice this, but we all sat there watching in awe of God's creation. Olivianna is so incredibly beautiful. At first her little arm was covering her face and she was being shy. After about 10 minutes, she turned and looked straight at her mommy and daddy. She stuck out her tongue, smiled, made a fussy face, sucked on her arm, danced a bit, put her foot in her face and motioned "talk to the hand mom!" It was amazing. I was afraid to ask the questions that I knew could cause me pain....but I decided that this could be my only chance to see her sweet body moving around in peace. I asked the ultrasound tech if she could tell that Olivianna had CDH. She pointed out to us that Olivianna's neck was very thick and that her chest looked very muscular and puffed out. I became very quiet after she told us that. My thoughts were "how could her face be so perfect, and something be so wrong with her body?" When I am honest with myself, I felt let down that God had not healed her the night before (or any other day/night that I have prayed so passionately for healing). The Lord gently reminded me that Olivianna is fearfully and wonderfully made. Her body is not hidden from Him. He is knitting her together in my womb for His glory...not for my happiness. Luke and I are so blessed to have her as a daughter. The Lord trusts us with his child AND with this pain in life. I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service. 1 Tim 1:12. Thank you Jesus!!!
On Friday evening Adi and I went to baby Drew's baby shower. This too was very difficult for me. My prayer has been to not be jealous that my friends and family are having healthy babies...and to be able to deal appropriately with my emotions as there precious lives are brought into this world. To be excited for them...because God is sovereign and He loves ALL His children.
Again I say...."Thank you Jesus!"