Sunday, August 30, 2009


I held my breath, Adi and Luke by my side, as the warm jelly was applied to my growing baby bump. I was excited and nervous all at the same time. I hadn't really slept well in days, just waiting in anticipation for what was ahead....waiting and "taking heart!"

The heartbeat.....check. The body movement.....check. My relief....check!
Dr. A confirmed that our baby looked healthy and that the spine and diaphragm were in place. Peace flooded my body as we were affirmed that this pregnancy looks good. That this precious baby girl, sweet Ava June...or "baby June" as Adi calls her is ALIVE.

I praise the Lord for His goodness and mercy in my life. I praise Him for Adi, for Olivianna, for Ava, and especially for Luke. I praise Him for the good days, and the bad, and for the journey that He has walked us (and carried us) through these last few years.

Thank you Jesus!!!! You are GOOD.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009


Life is full of unknowns. It is full of reasons to fear and be worried, full of dangerous things and not so nice people, full of hardships and trials and blah situations. These last few weeks for me, it has been full of the unknowns of a healthy baby, the fear of sickness and death, the fear of bad news waiting around each corner.

In this life you will have many trials....but TAKE HEART, I have overcome the world! John 16:33

I have been thinking about this verse and wrestling with what "TAKE HEART" really means?
Does it mean to put on a happy christian face and pretend that everything in life is okay? Does it mean to try really hard to not be weighed down by the hardships? Or does it simply mean to trust and hold on for my life to the living God when everything around me seems to be swallowing me whole? When I feel like I can't go on one more minute living with my own mind...I must TAKE HEART and fill my frightened mind with scripture. When I freak out because of all the "what ifs" and "high risks" and "could happens," I must TAKE HEART and claim that scripture over my situations. When I can't stand to hear one more story about someones "easy pregnancy" and "healthy baby," or "hard pregnancy" and "sick child," I must TAKE HEART and remember God's love for His children...and His love for me.

You see, when I become honest with myself, I must admit that over the last year and a half, I have bought into the lie that God wants to give His "other" children good gifts, but not me. And then there are those time that I don't buy into that lie, but the lie that God is just waiting to throw me another tough situation to see how I respond. To see if I truly do trust in Him. That He always wants to be testing me, so not to get excited about something that appears "good."
So often I play around with God's love like it is a game of "give and take." I fail to believe in the truth that He has "loved me with an everlasting love; He has drawn me with loving-kindness." I fail to acknowledge the "Everlasting" part of that truth. That He delights in me. That He wants me to "TAKE HEART" , to "RECEIVE" His love and His goodness for my life.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. 2 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you.

Psalm 91:1-6/ Live under the protection of God Most High and stay in the shadow of the All Powerful God. Then you will say to the LORD, "You are my fortress, my place of safety; you are my God, and I trust you."

Romans 8:35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36 As it is written: "For Your sake we are killed all day long; We are accounted as sheep for the laughter." 37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.

Psalm 84:11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield; The LORD gives grace and glory; No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly. O LORD of hosts, How blessed is the man who trusts in You! (nasb)

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me--watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

I am learning that "TAKE HEART" for me means to walk with Jesus and obtain His rest, His peace, His comfort, His courage and His strength each day. It means that IN MY TRIALS (Because I am promised to have them), I must look more on the promise of SPIRITUAL and PHYSICAL protection, and MORE importantly HIS LOVE FOR ME, than on the situations that surround my life. He has overcome the world. He has overcome death. He can overcome my fear and gives me the ability to walk through the fire without being burned.

I must "TAKE HEART".....which ultimately means to "TAKE ACTION" in His story, every single day of my life.
Only when I learn to do this, will I not be consumed by the fears of the unknowns....the fears of a fallen world. Only then will I be set free.