Monday, October 12, 2009

Cousins at the pumpkin patch

My sweet Adi Rose

SF Zoo

Riding the Little Puffer with daddy

Crazy how life gets so out of control sometimes with all the small stuff that fills up my calender. Bible study, church, preschool, MOPS, lunch dates, play dates, doctors appointments, photography, family get-togethers, cleaning (notice how that came last on my list!!!) and on and on....seems like I am having to schedule in sleep time, think time, eat time, rest time these days...and even that isn't always getting done!
In this beautiful mess of life, I am so thankful for all of the things that I have had the opportunity to put on my crazy calender, and for all of the amazing things that God is teaching me in and through them.

In order of importance, a quick update on the "real" what is going on in life right now, straight from the heart!

1. GOD.
He is so GOOD and so worthy to be praised, and yet so often I give Him the last little bit of what I have left. I read this on a friends facebook post the other day and it stung down to the deepest part of me, as I feel exactly the same so often: The person who puts money in my bank account gets the first 9 or so hours of my day, the person who put a ring on my finger gets the last few hours of my day, and the One who put breath in my lungs gets a fleeting thought here and there. Something is very wrong.

Now I know this is not exactly what life is like for me right now...(the work 9 hours part) but it is so true with the busy work and "stuff" of life. I give 30% of my time to Adi (as she requires it!), 20% to Luke, 20% to computer and photography, 10% of my time to friends, 10% to myself, 5% to cleaning, and a little tiny 5% to my heavenly father who created me. UGGGHHHH, it makes me so sick....and yet I do so little to change my lifestyle.
I thank the Lord that He is patient with me, and that He loves me and desires for me to grow. Please please please Lord, don't leave me like this. I want to be more like you. Help me.

2. My family
Ahh, I absolutely love love love my sweet family. I am always in awe of how God brought Luke and I together and how He has blessed us with sweet Adi Rose, Olivianna Grace and Ava June. Although we have been very very busy, we have been enjoying life! Luke and I have been doing a lot of photography together this last month and that has been a blast.

Adi has had a rough month with sickness, probably a result of being passed along from house to house while we do our photography!!! She started preschool in the beginning of September and almost instantly (like within the first two weeks) got the chickenpox. She didn't get them very bad, only about 10 pox on her body. They came and went within a week and a half (all of those lovely stages...) and we made it through. I was dying to get out of the house as she was feeling great "besides the bumps" but we couldn't go anywhere. One morning I decided that we would go to the fruit stand to break up the day a bit. After she touched the grapes and the peaches, she sweetly explained to the checker and everyone in line that she has the chickenpox. All I could do was smile, put my head down, and place my hand over her mouth as we walked briskly to the car. I love that girl!!!

My heart still breaks over my precious Olivianna Grace. So often I find myself imaging what life would be like if she were with us. She would be 16 months old right now, a lively one I am sure! Adi talks about her a lot. She reminds me that Olivianna is in heaven and that she is all better. That she is my baby, and her sissy...and that makes me smile!
I am daily praying that my heart will heal and that I will one day not feel like I have been robbed. I completely know that God had a plan for her life. That their was a very specific purpose that her 11 minutes fulfilled. That she is in a much better place. That many many amazing things have and will come because of her life....
But so often I feel robbed. Like "life is not fair" that I can not hold her and love on her and watch her grow. It is almost as if I can't let go of who she would be right now. And it hurts.

Luke and I are joyfully and so anxiously awaiting for little Ava June to come into the world. These last 25 weeks have seemed to go by very slowly as I long to hold my baby in my arms. I imagine the day when we walk out of the hospital with her alive. I can't wait...I even dream about it. It will be a day of complete celebration and joy. My heart will be overwhelmed. I will cherish her and hold her and rock her and wake up with a smile on my face at 2 a.m when she wants to eat because she will be alive. It will be cold though, and I will be tired (so remind me of this post when I complain, okay?)

At our last doctors visit 3 weeks ago, we found out that I have partial placenta previa (my uterus is covering part of my cervix) and therefore I will be monitored closely to see if it moves. We are praying that it moves away from the cervix and that I will not be put on bed rest during Christmas and that I can have a natural birth. Nonetheless, I told Dr. A that he can get Ava June out of me anyway he wants to (my nose, my legs, my tummy), just get her out healthy and I will be happy! We know and trust that God will take care of us and that we can completely trust in whatever He has for us.

3. Photography.
It has been an amazing year of growing our skill and our business. I never would have thought last year that we would be doing weddings and numerous shoots a week and keeping extremely busy with it. We have definitely enjoyed getting to know people and especially have enjoyed doing something that we love together! It has been a blast. Here are a couple sneak peeks from the last two weddings we shot.

Beautiful Carla and Paul

Lovely Amanda and John

We have about 8 more family sessions and some senior shoots, and I think we will be done for the fall!!! I am imagining by the 8th of November (my last session) I will be pooooooped, both physically and mentally! We have been excited to have so many amazing families and opportunities this year. Thank YOU, to our wonderful clients!

Well, MOPS is in the morning and so I better finish up. My last two blog post that I began I saved as drafts and never got them up. Always seems difficult to end these things!

Hopefully by the time I blog again, I will have something very exciting to share with everyone! I am having a hard time keeping quiet about it, as it blesses me SO much............

Until then...CHRIST be lifted HIGH!


Mimi said...

I am so glad to hear from you. I think about your family all the time. I am so glad things are going so good. I am so sorry for the placenta problems but I believe everything will be ok. You and I can be on bed rest together. Yeah, the last thing I want at Christmas too. :) I just know I will be though. Hopefully the doctor will let me travel to my families house so I can be with them. Oh well, it's all in God's hands. He is in control of my life. I hope to hear from you again. I love the baby bump! You are so beautiful!


Take heart... said...

I always love reading your posts. It's like taking a deep breath in for me. I can't wait to heat of your good news, whatever it is. I'm definately hanging by a thread waiting. love you.