Friday, November 21, 2008

I had a very vivid dream last night.

I was pregnant with my third child. A boy. The doctors were unable to tell the whole pregnancy if anything was wrong with him physically. I was going to be induced the next morning. I was afraid and anxious.

Right before I went to sleep (in my dream) I looked down and through my skin I could see my little boy. He was beautiful. He looked up at me and our eyes froze.
Sweet Adalin's voice whispered "mommy" into my ear and I was instantly awake.

All morning I have been wondering how my dream would have continued if I had not been awoken.
Would I have had a healthy baby boy? Or would I have had another child torn from me too soon?

TRUST IN ME.

But she looks so perfect....
Trust in Me.
No outward flaw...
Trust in Me.
Why not more time???
Trust in Me.
I can't handle any more...
Trust in Me.

I realize this dream is most likely because of fear issues that I am dealing with. The doctors were not able to determine if Olivianna's condition was genetic or a 1 in 2500 people situation. While Luke and I have been trying to get pregnant again for the last 3 months, the little voice (fear, doubt, hurt) continues to whisper into my soul. I must be on guard at all times to not fall for the lies of Satan. I will not be in bondage to fear. I have been set free because of Christ, and I must walk in His promises for me.

If it was genetic...My God created us and we are fearfully made. He is in control. Genetic disorders don't happen by chance. He chose to create Olivianna that way and says that she is wonderfully made. He loves her just as much as He loves His children who are physically healthy.
If it was 1 in 2500....My God chose me! WOW, if you look at all situations in life as the opportunity to be used for God's glory, than I thank him for the 1 in 2500 chance TO BRING HIM GLORY. It is God's will for me to do this.

Whatever happens, give thanks, because it is God's will in Christ Jesus that you do this. (1 Thes. 5:18)


I want to wake up each morning and say "God, I allow YOU to write my story today? Please help me to be obedient to your plan. Help me to TRUST in your goodness and promises. "

This can be so difficult to do as my flesh gets in the way so often. But if I acknowledge to Him my desire for that, and continue in intimacy with Him, His spirit will strengthen me and help me.




I have been thinking lately of all the things to be thankful for in my life. Thanksgiving is something that we are called to do daily, not just on the last Thursday of November each year.

In the next couple days, I will write a "My thank you God" list: 100 Things I am thankful for.
What are you thankful for?
I pray that anyone reading this will remember to stop each day and give thanks to God for His blessings.
We truly are a blessed people.


Christ be lifted high!







1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm thankful for your friendship!